My Birth Story
I’ve decided to tell other women’s birth stories for a living but for some reason, I have had a hard time sitting down and writing my own. Perhaps it is because I have not yet conceptualized or compartmentalized what happened - The loveliness and the agony. What I did two months ago was amazing. I made a birth plan and stuck to it. I birthed my sweet little best friend with no medication, no medical intervention, and no hospital. She made a smooth transition into the world through the water.
Induction
The last few days of pregnancy were absolutely miserable. I was almost positive I was never going to have a baby especially after my due date came and went with no hint of labor starting. We tried it all; sex, primrose oil, long walks, squats, hibiscus tea, red raspberry leaf, more oil and the list goes on. If it’s “a thing,” we tried it. At 40 weeks and 6 days, I was over it. I woke my mom (my doula) at 5 am and told her I had been on the internet all night researching castor oil and asked if she would go to the store to get some.
Castor oil is a laxative that taste like plastic and has been believed to induce labor. Though the risks are fairly low, one could still take castor oil and end up with intense diarrhea which sounds miserable on top of being 40 weeks pregnant. My mom agreed, trusting that I was in enough pain that the reward outweighed the risk. I took 2 teaspoons and waited. I did not get crazy diarrhea but the castor oil worked a little too well and too fast.
Labor
About 7 hours after drinking castor oil and being “checked” at the birth center, contractions started at 2 minutes apart - in other terms, they went 0-60 in 3.5. I went to bed to see if they would persist and they didn’t. The next day, Kalvin and I were driving around when it hit me. It felt like I might have explosive diarrhea any minute. I turned to Kalvin and calmly said “My love. I don’t want to tell you how to drive but you need to get me home now.” Of course we make a wrong turn and run right into 5 o’clock traffic. I labored at home until I was 6cm, fully effaced, and freaking the hell out. On the way to the birth center, my doula mom gave me a dose of a homeopathic arnica to calm me. It worked - I was able to relax and breath through contractions.
Labor felt like my body was begging to implode on me. I could feel my baby’s head pressing down on my fully-thinned cervix. At one point, the pain was so intense, I violently vomited - did I mention that wasn’t party of the birth plan?
The intensity grew again and I began to panic. Crying, yelling at people, the whole shabang. My midwife grabbed my face to make me focus my eyes on her and said “Look at me. You have to calm down, okay?” Imagine being told to calm down during labor! But she was right. She had me sit backwards on the toilet and rest my head while she massages me with lavender essential oil. Beyoncé’s song Spirit played loudly in the background. I remember hearing “watch the heavens open” and visualized the clouds peeling back after a storm - Then my water broke. With every contraction, I could feel more water gushing out. My doula mommy laid hands on me and helped with guided breathing. She also reminded me that I was so close to the finish line. I would have given up had I not been reminded that the pain would soon end.
The Water Birth
Because this is my first child, I wasn’t allowed to labor in the pool out of fear that I would get too relaxed and my contractions would stop. My midwife asked me to push on the bed first until we could see some crowning. Funny enough, I got in the warm water and my contractions did stop, however, I didn’t want to tell anyone out of fear they’d make me get out. So I pushed on my own. And I calmly pushed until Norah came out. She was born to Revelation Song by Kari Jobe. Revelation Song was the first song to bring me to tears as a child and I think it was because I was understanding Jesus’ overwhelming love for the first time.
I labored for seven hours. Sometimes calm, sometimes frantic but always prepared. I was doing what I was created to do and fully confident in my body’s ability to birth my child. Norah was brought into this world with care and attention from her mom and dad. Every decision we made was in her best interest - from the lack of medication to the healing herbal bath me and baby took after I delivered my placenta.
I want you to be able to take 3 things away from this. 1) Women are basically invincible 2) A support system (doula, labor partner, midwife, etc) and birth plan is a game changer. 3) Do your research!
Answers to your questions
Q: I want to go on medicated as well. How did you keep yourself calm during labor? - @hellobeca
A: I used something called Hypnobirthing to get through labor pains. I practiced relaxing my muscles to the Hypnobirthing tape’s. My husband also lead me through breathing exercises, guided meditation, and visualization. Since birth is a mind game, this was the most powerful and important part of pain management.
Q: So cool of you to do this! We are family planning and I would love to hear about how you found a midwife. - @begins_withkay
A: Before I found a midwife, I found a birthing center. Birthing centers have Midwifes on staff. I would choose a few to tour and meet with the midwives to make sure you were a good fit for their facility and. I would choose a few to tour and meet with the midwives to make sure you love their facility and staff. And make sure you love them because you will be seeing them very often as your pregnancy progresses.
Q: Are you utilizing your placenta in anyway for postpartum? - @roachesca
A: No, I did not do anything with my placenta. If I had uncontrollable bleeding, I would have put some in my cheek but besides that, I didn’t do any encapsulation or freezing.
Q: How did you deal with the pain of contractions and pushing? - @kalanibrown.21
A: Believe it or not pushing was the easiest part about the entire labor process. Your body will push for you. I also had a doula to help me through really painful contractions and do pressure work on my hips.